The Frog Branch Saloon is just about the best lil ole bar ur gonna find in all of central Texas. Its tucked away in the town of Malone. Although Malone sports several watering holes, the Frog, as it is affectionally called by its customers, is the place to be. Ms Donna is the owner and she lives upstairs. It was my and Sprite's habit to be at the Frog every Tuesday and Thursday night, mainly because those nights Debbie, Ms Donna's daughter, is behind the bar. Debbie is tall and blonde. If I believed in reincarnation... I'd like to come back as Debbie. She's as sweet as she is pretty.
Now, as most of you know, I'm an old rocker. I don't listen to much country music and I haven't mastered the art of the Texas Two-Step. That bit of information don't seem to impress most of the gentlemen at the Frog. They will spin you around the dance floor regardless. As the evening progresses and after a few Bud Lights.. even I can dance.
Before I became a regular at the Frog, I'd never played darts. One night Eddie and Danny talked me into it. I won one game. How? I haven't a clue, but I was hooked. I stink at it, yet I love the game. It could be that after a few cold ones everyone plays bout as well as I do. More bullshit flies than darts.
I've been in a few bars during my lifetime... more than I'll admit to, and I've seen my share of bar fights. I'm not one to enjoy violence of any sort, however the best bar fight I've ever seen was at the Frog. Seems this former employee had been banned for stealing from the Frog and he showed up one Tuesday evening with some friends. Debbie reminded him that he was banned and he didn't take to kindly to her suggestion he leave. Now mind you Debbie is tall but she thinks she's 10 foot tall and this joker had about 50 pounds on her. He tried to bully her, cuss her, and ignore her warnings. In the meantime, this goodlookin six-foot four cowboy had just asked me to dance with him. I'd already turned him down several times before, but someone had brought tequilla. Need I say more? Well he told me, "I'm going out on that dance floor, I've played your favorite song, I'm gonna wait til you come to join me... please don't make me look like a fool". Well ya'll know how considerate I can be..cough. So I start making way to the dance floor to save this young man's pride. Bout this time the joker decides to take a swing at Debbie and my cowboy beats the tar outta him. I ain't never seen anything like it. The cowboy, remember I said he was six-foot four, had the longest arms I ever seen on a man. Every punch hit the mark. The joker couldn't reach him. Bam! Joker went down. I thought it was over. The dumbass got up and took a swing at the cowboy. Bam! Joker went down again. Joker got up again. Bam! Joker down. Joker up. Joker down... well I don't know if he had springs in his jeans but he just kept gettin up. Well now while this is going on some of the Joker's friends decided to join in the festivities. Not a good idea. Here comes Jon. Jon is not as tall as me...I'm five five. But Jon is a natural redhead and built like all shit get out, I'm sure I don't have to explain what that means. The fight was really on then. Hell fire, I don't know who was fightin who. Hats were fly'n and punches were be'n thrown and punches were be'n caught. Just about that time Joker's head hit the mirror tiles and cracked one. His mouth was bleed'n and his ole eyebrow was cut and swell'n up. Now Sprite was sitting next to me at a table made of an old cable spool and she was enjoy'n the fight as much as I was. The fight had moved so close to our table that bodies were bump'n the table and Jon's hat was knocked off near where we were sitting. Jon does love that hat. We know that and we love Jon. Sprite jumps off her chair...(she has to jump cuz the good Lord didn't see fit to give her grown up legs..I swear she needs a step stool to reach the potty), and picks up Jon's hat. All through this fight Sprite is just laughing her ass off. I'm not quiet as enamered with the fight as I was earlier... being as we're bout to get swept into it. I got to think'n if someone hit Sprite, its gonna piss her off, I've seen her pissed... its not a good thing. So, I pulled her off the stool and put her behind me. She's a fussin try'n to get back out so she could see. To this day she thinks I did it to protect her... snort! Hell fire n damnation, I did it to protect "them". About this time my attention is drawn back to the cowboy and the Joker. All through the ups and downs, the cowboy didn't lose his hat until a couple of the Joker's friends tried to jump the cowboy from behind. They couldn't take him down. They got the same treatment as their friend, however they had the good sense to stay down and crawl away. Someone comes running in announcing that the police were on their way. Well that sucked the fun out of it all. The cowboy sustained a cut on his index finger from making contact with the Joker's teeth. I didn't get my dance because Sprite and I decided it would be best to head to the IHOP and avoid the possibility of being guests of the Hill County Sherrif's Department. Besides I had to work the next morning. So I lit a cigarette and gave it to the cowboy, kissed him on the cheek and promised him a dance the next time we were at the frog. I made good on that promise.
I do miss my darlins at the Frog and I intend to get by there in my next trip down home to Texas...
later darlins...
Now, as most of you know, I'm an old rocker. I don't listen to much country music and I haven't mastered the art of the Texas Two-Step. That bit of information don't seem to impress most of the gentlemen at the Frog. They will spin you around the dance floor regardless. As the evening progresses and after a few Bud Lights.. even I can dance.
Before I became a regular at the Frog, I'd never played darts. One night Eddie and Danny talked me into it. I won one game. How? I haven't a clue, but I was hooked. I stink at it, yet I love the game. It could be that after a few cold ones everyone plays bout as well as I do. More bullshit flies than darts.
I've been in a few bars during my lifetime... more than I'll admit to, and I've seen my share of bar fights. I'm not one to enjoy violence of any sort, however the best bar fight I've ever seen was at the Frog. Seems this former employee had been banned for stealing from the Frog and he showed up one Tuesday evening with some friends. Debbie reminded him that he was banned and he didn't take to kindly to her suggestion he leave. Now mind you Debbie is tall but she thinks she's 10 foot tall and this joker had about 50 pounds on her. He tried to bully her, cuss her, and ignore her warnings. In the meantime, this goodlookin six-foot four cowboy had just asked me to dance with him. I'd already turned him down several times before, but someone had brought tequilla. Need I say more? Well he told me, "I'm going out on that dance floor, I've played your favorite song, I'm gonna wait til you come to join me... please don't make me look like a fool". Well ya'll know how considerate I can be..cough. So I start making way to the dance floor to save this young man's pride. Bout this time the joker decides to take a swing at Debbie and my cowboy beats the tar outta him. I ain't never seen anything like it. The cowboy, remember I said he was six-foot four, had the longest arms I ever seen on a man. Every punch hit the mark. The joker couldn't reach him. Bam! Joker went down. I thought it was over. The dumbass got up and took a swing at the cowboy. Bam! Joker went down again. Joker got up again. Bam! Joker down. Joker up. Joker down... well I don't know if he had springs in his jeans but he just kept gettin up. Well now while this is going on some of the Joker's friends decided to join in the festivities. Not a good idea. Here comes Jon. Jon is not as tall as me...I'm five five. But Jon is a natural redhead and built like all shit get out, I'm sure I don't have to explain what that means. The fight was really on then. Hell fire, I don't know who was fightin who. Hats were fly'n and punches were be'n thrown and punches were be'n caught. Just about that time Joker's head hit the mirror tiles and cracked one. His mouth was bleed'n and his ole eyebrow was cut and swell'n up. Now Sprite was sitting next to me at a table made of an old cable spool and she was enjoy'n the fight as much as I was. The fight had moved so close to our table that bodies were bump'n the table and Jon's hat was knocked off near where we were sitting. Jon does love that hat. We know that and we love Jon. Sprite jumps off her chair...(she has to jump cuz the good Lord didn't see fit to give her grown up legs..I swear she needs a step stool to reach the potty), and picks up Jon's hat. All through this fight Sprite is just laughing her ass off. I'm not quiet as enamered with the fight as I was earlier... being as we're bout to get swept into it. I got to think'n if someone hit Sprite, its gonna piss her off, I've seen her pissed... its not a good thing. So, I pulled her off the stool and put her behind me. She's a fussin try'n to get back out so she could see. To this day she thinks I did it to protect her... snort! Hell fire n damnation, I did it to protect "them". About this time my attention is drawn back to the cowboy and the Joker. All through the ups and downs, the cowboy didn't lose his hat until a couple of the Joker's friends tried to jump the cowboy from behind. They couldn't take him down. They got the same treatment as their friend, however they had the good sense to stay down and crawl away. Someone comes running in announcing that the police were on their way. Well that sucked the fun out of it all. The cowboy sustained a cut on his index finger from making contact with the Joker's teeth. I didn't get my dance because Sprite and I decided it would be best to head to the IHOP and avoid the possibility of being guests of the Hill County Sherrif's Department. Besides I had to work the next morning. So I lit a cigarette and gave it to the cowboy, kissed him on the cheek and promised him a dance the next time we were at the frog. I made good on that promise.
I do miss my darlins at the Frog and I intend to get by there in my next trip down home to Texas...
later darlins...
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